Desert Island Albums – Volume 2

19 08 2013

Beck – Midnite Vultures (1999)



Midnite Vultures is both an excellent party album and an excellent fuck soundtrack.  With the exception of the frenetic opening track Sexx Laws (which, due to its energy and immediacy was my wake up song for the better part of my sophomore year in college) the album maintains a chill, rolling vibe that suits both romance and revelry. Beck crafts decent vibe and employs many sounds that I consider 90s hallmarks: the overblown horns in the first two tracks, the gleefully trashy drums throughout, the SFX like laser zaps and dumped garbage cans sprinkled here and there… His lyrics are hilarious and layered in a way that allows him to spout wisdom without taking himself too seriously.
Damning confession: Get Real Paid came on and I was moved to dance like Buffalo Bill.
Mitigating disclaimer: I was well into my second bottle of wine, and had just purchased a full-length mirror.



  • Sexx Laws: Arrive home, offer your guest a drink

  • Nicotine & Gravy: Initiate makeout sequence

  • Mixed Bizness: Discard clothes as you make your way to the bedroom,

light-to-medium petting

  • Get Real Paid: Excuse yourself to go ‘freshen up’, splash some water on your

junk, take a moment to get nasty in the bathroom mirror

  • Hollywood Freaks: Tonsil hockey Stanley Cup, mutual manual stimulation

  • Peaches & Cream: Oral stimulation -give

  • Broken Train: Oral stimulation -receive

  • Milk & Honey: Everyone’s favorite number

  • Beautiful Way: Initiate genital intercourse

  • Pressure Zone: Bang it the fuck out

  • Debra: Cool down -cuddle if applicable; if not, retreat to bathroom and make weird noises. If your guest is experienced, they will be dressed and ordering a Lyft by the time you emerge



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